The Situation
Your manager or colleague has feedback for you, and it's not all positive. Your natural instinct might be to defend yourself, explain, or push back. But that rarely helps.
Why This Conversation Is Difficult
- Criticism feels like a personal attack
- Defensive reactions are automatic
- You might disagree with the feedback
- It's hard to stay calm when you feel judged
Your Goals
- Listen fully before responding
- Ask clarifying questions to understand specifics
- Acknowledge valid points without over-apologizing
- Identify actionable takeaways
Phrases That Work
"
Thank you for telling me this. Can you give me a specific example?
"
I want to make sure I understand. You're saying that when I do X, the impact is Y?
"
That's fair feedback. Here's what I'll do differently.
"
I appreciate you being direct with me.
Common Objections & How to Handle Them
"But I had good reasons for..."
Explain briefly if needed, but don't over-justify
"That's not fair"
Ask for specifics before dismissing
"Why are you only telling me now?"
Valid to raise, but don't use it to deflect
Ready to Practice?
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